The Hardest Part
by nightwalker21492
Summary: Hermione has been married to Ron for 3 years, yet Malfoy has been her lover for 4 years. featuring CANCER by MCR


**The Hardest Part By: Nightwalker21492**

**Best read while listening to Cancer by MCR**

Hermione woke from her phone ringing and groaned. She glanced at her clock and saw that it was only 3:49 a.m. She threw off her blankets and walked towards to the living room to answer the phone.

"Hello?" she asked in a groggy voice.

"Hermione?"

"Draco?"

"Yeah..."

"It's four in the morning. Why are you calling me so early?" she asked as she walked to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Hermione, I need to tell you something." Draco said but Hermione never heard him because she was still grumbling about how early he had called.

"Hermione..."

"I was up until two last night working. Do you have any idea how much work it is to sort out all the files the twins have? They have NEVER even tried to sort them..." she rambled on.

"Hermione, really, I need to tell you something..."

"And the worst part is that they keep giving away merchindice! How am I ever going to figure all this out if people call me at four in the mor--"

"I HAVE CANCER." Draco yelled into the phone to stop Hermione from talking.

"What? Draco, I know I was going on about you calling me, but really, you don't need to make something so horrible up to stop my complaining." she said as she set her coffee on the table and put her hand on her hip.

"I'm not making it up." Draco took a deep breath. "I have Cancer, Hermione..."

**_Turn away,  
__If you could get me a drink  
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded _**

"Wh...what? But...but how?"

"I don't know, love. But the Healers aren't sure if they'll be able to get rid of it." he said softly.

"No. No, Draco, you can't have Cancer. The Healers MUST be able to get rid of it!" Hermione said as she started crying.

"Hermione, baby, I'm gonna come over, okay?" But Hermione didn't hear him. She just fell to the floor and continued to weep.

There was a burst of green flames in the living room and Hermione ran in only to see Ron standing there in her fireplace.

"Hermione? What's wrong?"

"GET OUT!" she cried and threw a vace filled with flowers at her husband of three years. Ron knew when to leave and when to stay, and getting something thrown at him ment leave. "GET OUT!" she cried again and he disapperated with a loud "crack."

Hermione leaned against the wall and continued to cry. _How could this happen? He can't leave me...he just can't. _she thought to herself as she slid down the wall into a pile and started sobbing even more.

There was another burst of green flames, but she didn't look up. She knew who it was this time. He took her in his arms and whispered soothing things lulubys in her ear.

"Please, Hermione, don't cry. Please..." he begged. He held her tighter as she started crying even harder and squeezed his eyes shut. Draco kissed her forehead then rested his head on top of hers, as he rocked her back and fourth in his arms.

"You can't leave me...Please, Draco, you can't leave me. I need you here..." she cried into his shoulder as she clutched at his shirt. "Please, you can't leave me..."

Draco held his lover of four years as she cried, silently praying that he wouldn't have to leave her. He didn't want to leave her...He couldn't. He couldn't watch her for the rest of her life as she loved that Weasley boy. He couldn't just watch her as she cried for him and not be able to do anything about it. He COULDN'T leave her.

Hermione woke up the next morning in her bed with a warm arm wrapped around her torso. She held her head in pain and turned to see Draco sleeping peacefully, his hair all messed up in a bunch from the pillow, with his mouth slightly open and... _Is he puring?_ she wondered as she smiled at his sleeping face.

He looked so innocent. So gentle. So kind. But Hermione knew the truth. He was nothing of the sorts. Except with her. The feel of his finger tips against her skin as they made love made her forget all the horrible things he had ever done to her at Hogwarts. The way he looked at her with those bright gray eyes made her feel as though she'd never be as happy with any man as she was with him. And the way he always held her after they had made love, made her never want to leave his embrace. She was never happier than when she was with him.

And then the memories of last night came rushing back. She stared at him, her loving smile turning into a depressing frown. He was going to leave her. She knew he would. There was no way around it. The Healers, as far as she knew, had never delt with a witch or wizard getting cancer. That was a muggle illness. And a very dangorous and life taking one.

**_Call my aunt Marie  
Help her gather all my things  
And bury me in all my favorite colors, _**

Hermione brushed some of his white blond hair out of his face and gave him a small kiss on his sharp cheek bone. She stiffled a sob and jumped out of bed. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door. As she undressed she looked at herself in the mirror. She saw the scars on her thighs and hugged herself as the memories of why they were there came back.

She hated those scars. They always reminded her of the torment that Draco had put through during school. When she made the first cut on her thigh it had felt so good. The emotional pain went away and she focused on the small cuts on her skin. She looked away in disgust and looked herself in the eyes. She was stupid for ever doing something so idiotic. But they were there and no matter how many times she tried to cover them so no one would see them when she wore a swim-suit, SHE still knew they were there.

Ron hated them too. Their love life had pretty much disapeared when he saw the scars. _"They're ugly, but you're beautiful." _He had said. That was his way of trying to help.

Draco, however. Didn't hate them. He didn't love them either. He just acted as though they were a normal part of anyone's body. The first time they made love was when the school was rebuilt and Hermione was the only one of the Trio to returned to finish her 7th year. She was annoyed to find out that Draco had returned as well, but was pleased to find out that he wasn't as much of an arrogent ass he had always been before the war.

He had pulled her jeans down and started kissing up her legs, but she had jumped up from the bed when he started kissing her thighs. He sat up in front of her and took her face in his hands, kissed her lightly and said

_"No part of you is ugly. I love every part of you...dont worry about the scars..."_

_"But i hate them...they're ugly..." she whispered as she looked away from him._

_"Look at me." she looked at him with tears brimming her eyes. "Every part of you is beautiful. Even the parts you think are ugly..." he said as he kissed her..._

Hermione wipped away a tear that had escaped and climbed into the shower. She sighed and started to relax as the warm water ran over her skin. She made it about 5 minutes before she broke down and started crying.

**_My sisters and my brothers, still,__  
I will not kiss you,  
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. _**

Draco woke up alone and sighed. Hermione always did this. Whenever someone broke bad news to her, she would hide in the bathroom and cry in the shower. He got up and walked to the bathroom. He listened to the shower running and heard soft crying.

"Hermione, baby? Are you alright?" he asked through the door as he knocked lightly. He sighed and turned the knob when he didn't get an answer. He walked in and closed the door behind him. Then he undressed and climbed in with her.

When the water stopped hitting her, she looked up and saw Draco standing there, the water rushing down his back. She looked away and wipped her eyes. He bent down and hugged her to him, causing the water to hit both of them. She leaned into him and cried as he whispered in her ear, just as he did last night.

_**One Month Later**_

Hermione was waiting in the hall as Draco went into his hospital room and waited for the doctor. She played with the hem of her shirt and bit her lip. _He can't leave me. He's been through so much, cancer can't be the one thing that kills him. It just can't be. _She thought as tears started to form in her eyes.

For the past month Hermione had hardly been home. She stayed at the hospital with Draco most of the time. Draco had asked her to stay with him because he didn't think he would be able to go through all this alone. She had even told Ron that she needed to visit a friend in France. Which was partly true. The best Healers were in France and she had demanded that Draco go. After weeks of arguing, he finally gave in and Hermione imdeiatly apperated them to one of the many Wizard's hospitals in France.

"Hermione?"

Hermione looked up and saw Draco standing in the doorway, watching her.

"Did the Healer tell you anything yet?"

"They haven't even come in yet. I was just hoping that you would be in the room with me, while I found out." he said in a pleading voice.

"Of course." she said in a raspy voice. She stood up, folded her jacket over her arm and walked into the room behind Draco. She closed the door and he sat on the bed ringing his hands together in front of him.

Hermione threw her jacket on a chair and wrapped her arms around Draco, bringing him into a hug. He hugged her back and closed his eyes.

"I'm scared." he whispered in her ear so that even she had a hard time hearing what he had said.

"I know. I am too. But you can't give up hope, okay?" she said as she pulled back and looked him in the eyes.

**_Now turn away,__  
'Cause I'm awful just to see  
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body, _**

There was a knock on the door and the Healer came in. "Hello, Mr.Malfoy. Mrs. Weasley..."

"How bad is it?" Hermione asked instantly.

"Cancer is a serious and complex disease. To beat it, you will need a team of health professionals, all bringing their own specific specialties to your recovery. You are also likely to see a surgeon and perhaps other specialists as well. A mental health professional will be an important team player as well." The Healers paused then looked at his notes and back at them.

"What is it?" asked Draco.

"Conventional cancer treatments, from surgery to chemotherapy, are themselves traumatic to the patient. However, in many cases they are known to save lives. The post-treatment period is usually ignored. Emotional recovery from the trauma of cancer treatment takes longer than physical recovery. Psychological services can help mitigate the long-term effects of cancer treatment."

"So, what you're saying is that, I need to have Chemotherapy?" said Draco taking in everything the Healer had just said.

"In more understandable words, yes. We'll send you to a muggle hospital for that, since no Healer here has ever delt with this before."

"When do I have to do this?"

"Luckily, the Cancer was caught in it's early stages, so you may just need to have surgery. But if it comes back, then, yes, you will need Chemo. It's best if you do this as soon as possible. The earlier the better."

"How early can it be set up?" asked Hermione as Draco squeezed her hand that was resting on his shoulder.

"The earliest we can set the suregry for is 2 days." Said the Healer as he gave Draco a paper to sign.

"Just signed that and i'll send it to the muggle hospital."

Draco looked at Hermione who wasn't looking at him. She was looking past the Healer into space with tears threatening to fall. He kissed her hand and she looked at him. She gave an ecouraging smile and gave him a quill that she found in her purse. He signed it and handed it back to the Healer.

_**One Week Later**_

The surgery didn't work. Now Draco was going through Chemotheropy. Hermione didn't know how much longer she could go through this. She hadn't talked to Ron in almost two months. He sent her owls, but she only replied to a few of them, telling him that her friend was very ill. Which was true, and that she wouldn't be returning until they were better. Ron understood and told her to tell her friend encouraging things for him.

Hermione watched Draco sleep and reached out to hold his hand. It was cold, pale and fragile. Almost like ice, but she could clearly feel a strong pulse, which made her smile.

**_Oh, my agony,  
Know that I will never marry,  
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo_**

Hermione was on her knees holding his hand, with her head down on the matress, praying to any God that would listen. _please, you can't take him. He needs to be here. I need him here. Please, you can't take him from me. I won't let you..._ she begged. She looked up when his hand slipped from hers and started brushing her hair away from her face.

"Draco..."

"Hey..." he said in a husky voice.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"A little better. Still kind of bummed about losing my hair, but that will always grow back, right?"

"Um, Draco, honey, when someone goes through Chemo, most people don't regrow their hair..." she said carefully. Draco loved his hair.

"Oh, well, doesn't matter. As long as I have you it doesn't matter whether I have hair or not. Besides," he whispered. "I can always _make_ it grow back..." he grinned.

Hermione chuckled and started crying. "Merlin am I glad that you're joking again." she laughed. Draco smiled at her and kissed her.

"I love you, Hermione."

"What?"

"I love you. I know i've never said that before, but it's true. I wanted you to know if I didn't make it."

"Stop talking like that."

"Why? You know that I may not make it. I don't want any false hopes, Hermione. And I want you to know that I'll love you no matter what happens. I always have."

Hermione flung her arms around Draco and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on to the bed with him. She pulled back and rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes.

"I love you too, Draco." she said as she pressed her lips lightly to his. Draco pulled her into a laying postion so that her head was laying in the crook of his shoulder and one of his hands were on her waist and his other around her shoulder, stroking her hair. He smelled her hair and sighed contently. Vinilla and Roses. He loved the way she smelled. They slept like that until the doctor came in and told them that Draco had to leave for more Chemo.

**_But counting down the days to go  
It just ain't living  
And I just hope you know_**

Hermione was sleeping when Draco walked through the hotel door. He laid down on the bed with her, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"I love you." he whispered. And just as he was about to fall into a deep slumber, he heard her whisper sleepily.

"I love you too."

_**Three Weeks Later**_

Draco was now able to stay out of the hospital. He was getting stronger. Hermione saw this and cried with happiness whenever he would push himself to do things people wouldn't normaly have enough strength to do after Chemo. He was getting stronger with every passing moment.

Soon minutes turned to hours, hours to days, and days to weeks. Draco had once last Chemotheropy session before the Cancer would be gone completly. They weren't sure if it would stay gone, but it would give him an extra 5 years to his life. As excited as he was, he was terrified that he wouldn't make it. Chemotheropy, according to his doctor, usually took the most toll on the cacner victum. He didn't dare tell this to Hermione though. She had been so happy to wake up in his arms three weeks ago.

He loved her more than anything, yet he had told her to marry Weasley three years ago when they had been together secretly for a year already. He said that he was who she was supposed to be with. No one would understand and would most likely reject her if she married the pale faced boy that tried his hardest to make her life at Hogwarts hell. She agreed seeing as how she could still be with Draco. She never truely loved anyone besides Draco. Sure the bond between her and Ron was strong and she loved him, but she wasnt **IN** love with him.

Hermione waited nervously in the hospital room as Draco went through his last session of Chemotheropy. She stood up and hugged herself. Walking over to the window, she sighed. It would be over soon. If he was cancer free this time, if he lived through his last session, it would all be over and they could go back to London and pick up where they left their lives and friends. She knew however, that no matter how hard she tried to make everything better, nothing would ever be the same.

There was a high peircing sounds ringing through the hospital and Hermione knew what happened. Something had gone wrong with Draco. She ran into the hall and saw doctors and nurses running towards the cancer wing of the hospital. They ran past her and down a hallway leading to the Chemotheropy center. Before she knew what she was doing, she was running down the hall after them, passing rooms of people poking their heads out to see what was happening.

_No, no please. Don't let it be him. Please, You can't take him after everything. After everything he's been through, you can't take him! _ her mind cried as she ran past some of the doctors and nurses going to were the chemotheropy was. She almost fell over someone in a wheelchair and almost knocked over a shelf that was being moved by the matnance. She ran around another corner and stopped in her tracks as she saw the doctors running to get to Draco.

**_That if you say (if you say)  
Goodbye today (goodbye today)  
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)_**

She could hear the sound of his heart moniter as it slowed down. She knew what was happening. She just knew...

_**BBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP**_

"NO!" Hermione screamed and ran into the room but the nurses grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back. She fought against them but more people, even families of other patiants came to stop her and bring her back into the hallway. "NO! DRACO!" she struggled against them until she broke down crying in the middle of the hallway.

The nurses ran back in and closed the door behind them as the other visitors let go of her and watched her sink to her knees, crying. They knew what it was like to lose someone. They knew the pain she was going through.

**_'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you_**

Hermione could still hear the flatline of the moniter through the door and she cried harder as memories came back. Memories of Hogwarts and the war seeing many of her fellow classmates lying dead on the ground. Memories of her and Draco swimming in the lake late at night and memories of them at Hogsmead, her on his back as he gave her a piggy-back ride during a "photo-shoot". She could picture his smile and his laugh. She could see his happy face as they had a snowball fight infront of the school. All the houses against one another. In the head it had been Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Slytherin helping Gryffidor and Hufflepuff helping Ravenclaw. For at least one day, the houses had put aside their differences and were friends just like in the begaining when the school was first built.

"Mrs.Weasley?"

Hermione looked up with a tear stained face and she remembered where she was.

"Mrs.Weasley, we were able to get a pulse back. He's doing fine. You can see him now."

Hermione's breath caught and she stood and ran into his room. He was lying there, hooked up to all sorts of moniters and other equipment. She stiffled a sob and fell to her knees at his side.

_No, please, you cant take him! I won't let you. You can't have him...please..._ the voice in her head cried as the tears spilled freely down her face.

_**Two Weeks Later**_

Two weeks after Hermione's scarest moment, she and Draco were walking out of the hospital, hand and hand. He looked at her with love in his eyes and smiled. Draco took her other hand and she faced him with wonder on her face.

He brought her hands to his mouth and kissed them lightly, closing his eyes as he did.

"I love you Hermione."

"I love you too, Draco." she said as she stood up on tip-toes and kissed him gently on the lips. "I always have and I always will." she whispered and kissed him again.

He sighed happily and pulled back to look at the beauty standing before him. But before he knew what happened as they stepped off the curb to cross the road, he was pushed back onto the curb out of the road and the hand he was holding was gone. He heard tires screetching as they came to a hault a few feet down the road as the car hit a pole.

Someone screamed and Draco just stood there in shock at what had just happened. He ran over to the group of people now forming around the car that had slamed into a telephone pole. But thats not what made the women scream. Stuck between the telephone pole and the car was Hermione, her eyes open, a smile still on her face, with blood dripping out of her mouth.

Someone took her pulse and looked at Draco who was staring as if the world had just ended and almost broke down into tears himself when he saw the look on Draco's face as he looked at his lover of four years.

"She's...She's dead."

**_'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you_**

**"Many people would sooner die than think. In fact they do."  
- Bertrand Russell**

_**You didn't actually think i was going to kill Draco did you? Come on, I don't dislike him that much but someone had to die. I hope you liked it. It was my first shot at a tragidy fic. DONT FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW!! **_

_**-nightwalker21492**_


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